You know that feeling....

You know that feeling you get when you are experiencing the greatest joy imaginable? It's that tight excited tingly feeling deep down in your stomach that dances up your backbone and on out to every nerve ending in your body causing every fiber to react. Your feet cannot hold still and you do a little hop/shuffle/dance, causing your booty to shake as your hands clap and do wild victory gestures. Laughter bubbles up from your core, you are unable to stop the sounds emitting from your mouth, nor do you want too. Some people feel this when achieving perfection, after completing a project, or scoring a goal during a sport. Some I know accomplish this feeling when finding the ultimate sale. Adrenaline junkies get it from their endomorphin rush. I experience mine in the sick way of scaring my husband.
Hubby does not scare easily. I do not dress up in monster costumes, or imitate the unknown, I opt for the element of surprise. This startling technique does not work on everyone. What I look for in a victim is the shock, action, reaction factor. Some will only react with shock, only to stand frozen in fear, or open mouthed at my well devised assault. They are too boring for my time. Hubby is perfect as he will be shocked at first but pass through it to the action part, his survivalist instinct kicks in and he will retreat, which is followed by reaction when his self protection mechanism kicks in and he takes a swing. Knowing this makes him the perfect target and adds to my anticipation. Timing is crutial. Go time for the scare is vital, jump out too soon or too late and your effort is blown. I have in the past, wedged myself in small confined spaces only to wreck my setup by trying to jump out to fast before my mark is within close enough range. I have also waited to long only to be trapped by hubby in a cabinet when I failed to pop out early enough, only to be contained in my own ingenious but ill-timed hiding spot. Not knowing when I should retreat myself has resulted in my own bodily injury, when Hub's reaction time was faster than I expected. As I lay face down, bleeding from my mouth onto the carpet after I had shut all the lights off in our downstairs and lead Hub to believe I was already tucked in bed upstairs, I knew he was not one to jump out of a dark place without better retreat plan in place first. In our previous house there were many knooks and crannies perfect for me to jump out at him from, but our new house is big and wide open so I had to rethink my camouflage techniques. I have jumped out from behind furniture, doors, the shower. I have lied myself prone across the dining room chairs, hidden by the table cloth for what seamed like hours waiting for him to walk by. I have jumped sideways, matrix like, from the top of the bunk beds. Sometimes it can be as easy as hiding under a blanket in plain sight. It when they least expect it that causes their reaction to be so intense.
Once, while we were living in Texas and I was studying yoga, I waited by my kitchen widow for the sight of Hubbies truck pull into the apartment complex. I then maneuvered my way into the double cabinets above the fridge. As I lay curled tight on my side, I head Hubby walk in the door and over to turn on the t.v. Then he walks over to the fridge below me and grabs out a beer as I knew he would. While he is still standing infround of the fridge twisting the top off his beer- I kick a leg out of one cabinet and one arm out the other. "AAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGHHHHH!!" I yell. Hubby half drops half throws his beer at me while stumbling backward and falling against the dishwasher of the narrow kitchen. I am laughing so hard I can't wiggle out of my hinting spot and end up falling out onto the beer soaked floor were I remained laughing crazily, unable to move. Least I hope the wet was beer and not my own pee.
Recently while wearing my baggy army cargo jeans I came up with a spur of the moment scare so good I giggle as I type. One of the front pockets of my jeans are very deep and goes all the way down to my knee. Halfway up this pocket is a zippered opening, so if I unzip the zipper I can stick my hand into my pocket and out the zippered opening while my cell phone and big ring of car keys remain safely in the bottom, making a noticeable buldge at my knee. Hubby is sitting at our counter, intention absorbed in watching golf. I noisily go out our front door, wait a few minutes and walk around our deck into the side door. Hub is still staring at the game so I walk right up besides him and stick my hip with the cell phone close to him and say, "Wanna see what I manages to get in my pocket?" while shaking my leg ever so slightly. In the top of my pocket goes my hand, down to the unzipped opening were I shoot my hand out in a uncontrolled rapid animal manner at my poor unsuspecting hubby."WWAAAAAAA!" I yell. Shortly after I am changing out off my now coffee soaked clothes as Hubby did for a fleeting moment think I had some sort of live animal in my pants.
Yesterday I went public with my favorite endeavors. We are in Home Depot and in the appliance department looking at freezers. The store is bustling but everyone is lookind at the lawn furniture or the home improvement supplies. The department we are in is totally empty. It takes us two minutes to find the big chest freezer we want, but there is no salesperson anywhere to be found. I watch my Hubby amble off in quest of some assistance,opting to stay behind with our choice. My plan instantaneously forms deviously in my mind. In the matter of seconds I pull out the wire basket in the module we want and jump in unnoticed, pulling the door closed behind me. As I sit there in the dark, trying my hardest to suppress the laughter slipping out of my grinning mouth, I give silent prayers that noone else uncovers my hiding spot before my hubbies return. An eternity or so later I hear his familiar voice say, "This is the one we want", followed by the sound of his knuckles rap on it's top. That is my cue. I spring up flinging the door open and like an insane jack in the box wave both arms around as I do. "RARRRGHHH", I yell in my best outside voice my hubby and the unsuspecting salesman leap backwards with horrified lookes on their faces. Because it was a public place Hubby didn't swing into react mode, thank goodness. I, on the other hand totally lose any resemblance to composure and am laughing so hard I can't breath and am gasping like a fish out of water between my snorts and howls. Husband now is lecturing me on the dangers of hiding in an airless place, trying to regain his dignity as he does.
I recommend whole heartedly that you try this one at home, er your own Home Depot that is. It's almost fail proof and the reaction is worth the risk. Just make sure if you have uncertain bladder control to practice up on your Kegle muscle exercises before you do.